Hurt by Church

Have you ever been hurt by your church before ?

In church have you ever. . .

Ever had girls, boys, women, men, leaders leave you out?

Ever had someone put you down right after you had enough courage to share your ugly story?

Ever had people treat you different because your family does not attend church every Sunday?

Ever had the church treat you with kindness you can tell is fake?

Ever been left behind from learning, teaching, leading just because you are a girl? Because you are different?

Ever been shamed or punished because of a family members choice?

Ever go to church over and over and never had a one-on-one conversation where someone told you, you are loved by The Redeemer who is Jesus Christ?

Well I have too.

Almost all of the above or at least someone I know –this has all happened.

Without going into too much detail I want to get the point across to you that I have been hurt by the church.

When I shared with a minister about one of the instances in my past that happened within the church, she sent me away from the church and from teaching. She probably thought that was truly the best thing to do, but she also left me alone. Didn’t encourage me, didn’t check in on me, didn’t show me the love of Christ. Regardless of her intentions. I was hurt.

Trust me, oh how I have been hurt by the church.

At first, I was astonished

Lord, how can this be? How can the church be a place of ulgy? A place of hurt?

As I got older I began to talk to more & more people, from all walks of life. Old, young, black, mixed, guy, girl, smart, successful. Then I realized. Maybe it wasn’t my situation that someone was hurt by, but something else by the church had hurt them.

Something from a church experience had put a bad taste in their mouth about Jesus.

Many of these people have continued on in their faith, but a lot have not.

As I kept going to church
the Lord eventually told me:

“Daughter, I am not the church”

If you have been hurt by the church & think you have been hurt by Jesus, remember that the church IS NOT PERFECT. And the church is not Jesus.

You are not alone in being hurt by the church my dear sister or brother. You are not alone. Do not let that hurt, that scar, that story be the end of your story with church. With Jesus.

Jesus is not any of those things you have been hurt by.

Jesus is love.
Jesus is kindness.
Jesus is inclusion.
Jesus will not let you sit alone.
Jesus will invite you.
Jesus will tell you, you are certainly worthy.
Jesus will forgive you.
Jesus will lift you up.

To place the expectations of perfect, holy Jesus on people, leaders, or even ministers in church is too high an expectation to place on any person. Only Jesus is Lord and has the power to save you. Only Jesus is perfect.

Moving Forward

I went back & talked to that minster one day & she apologized. At the end of the day, no one is perfect. For me to ask of her to have been perfect in that situation just because she is a minster is not fair.

If I had let those situations and people deter me from going to church, deter me from Jesus, I would not know the Love Jesus has for me.

Yes, church is supposed to be the place where people are like Jesus. But that is not always going to happen. We live in a broken world with broken people. But why not go to church and be the person you expected to be there?

Another thing to remember is that the “church” is simply believers. It is not a building. It is the gathering of believers. My sister is my church. My best friend(s) are my church. My co workers who know Christ are my church. My in-laws are my church. My mother is my church. Those people you come across that love the Lord, those people are your church.

If your church is hurting you, obviously go to a different church. But remember, nobody’s perfect.

You are not alone.
The church cannot be Jesus for you.
Jesus is perfect & no one else.